May 2017: A Letter to The Woman Who Raised Me
May 23, 2017
Well, today is the second Tuesday in a row that I've woken up feeling under the weather. To fill the time, I naturally caught up a bit on my journals and started out for a nice cafe to continue my writing. When I found the right place I had the urge to write something more meaningful than a description of my journey here in Cusco. I decided that a letter to my mom was what was weighing on my heart. Instead of a recap of today, I have attached the following letter that took me about two hours and many tears to write. It pretty much sums up my reflections, thoughts, and thankfulness for the day. This might just have been the best experience of my trip thus far as a result! Please enjoy!:)
Dear Mom,
Today is the tenth day that I am in Cusco, Peru. Being here alone has allowed me so much time to reflect and realize just how important this time in my life is. Thinking about how our circumstances have shaped my life, it is easy to say I am so thankful, blessed or privileged; which don't get me wrong, all of those things are true. But without the people in my life, I would not be any of who I am, what I have and how I am at all. Mom, you have been one of the most influential people in my life. I think about all the times I've cried to you and you held me, comforting me with everything I needed and realistic yet somehow always positive and uplifting advice. As characterized by so many, you are an amazingly caring and selfless person, but this isn’t what makes you so special. What makes you so special is your deep belief and support for others. No matter what I've wanted to pursue in life or be in life, you have always made me believe that I was special enough, overly capable enough or great enough to achieve even more than I imagined. I think about the times you’ve been excited for me, sad for me and worried for me. Always doing anything to make it work, improve the situation, uplift me or help me understand. You endlessly listen to me complain, talk about people and experiences that have no importance to you and rant about my feelings and thoughts with little concern for time or interest. Im so sorry for never showing you how much I value you just being you. I am the luckiest girl in the world to have had grown up with such a role model as you in my life. You gave me no option but to see the good in others, the potential on each person and encourage everyone to be their best self. Nothing can ever be as valuable as that. Your outlook is and deserves to be treasured. Thank you so much for making life something that I can enjoy, take hold of and believe in. As much as I want you here with me, I am even more grateful that you recognized just how important this trip would be for me on my own. You knew more than me and that’s not surprising. You’ve taught me that living without fear of judgment, failure or expectations is the only way to fully live. Some people ask me, 'how are you so happy all of the time?'. The answer is, I've learned that this is the only possible way to live. Others may view it as happy but you've taught me that by believing in where life takes you and in those who are there along the way, we can be fulfilled and fulfill others. It’s simple, life is happy if you trust it. Take the good as the best and the bad as preparation for the better or worse. Mom, thank you for valuing everyone and everything and never ceasing to take a chance along the way. You have brought me so much love, acceptance, joy, appreciation, and understanding. Thank you for letting me explore my abilities, capabilities, downfalls, passions, and dreams. Thank you for challenging me when I want more than I can handle. Thank you for reassuring me that I am special enough when life causes me to question my trust in it. Thank you for placing belief in who I am, what I do and what I want. You are everything and more than who I would wish to be. I just hope that you are proud of the lonesome me sitting in a cafe with a glass of white wine dedicated to you, tears streaming down my face, writing this letter to you. You are so special and don't ever forget it. Thank you Mom! I love you so much!
With all of my gratitude, joy, and belief
<3 Natalie
