Being Moved By Surroundings On A Deeper Level: Immersing My Body & Mind In Nature
I’ve never considered myself to be someone who believes in a higher spirit within animals, plants, the environment, etc., yet time and time again over this past week and a half at home, I have felt the being of nature around me in a more real sense than just that of physical beauty. In particular, on my laps around the circle trail at my favorite park, (that I walk more times than I can count when I am home), I have had many individual encounters with the things around me that have caused awe and wonder about their meaning and significance as I pass them by. These days, I am choosing to listen to the lessons they provide.
On the first full day that I had arrived back in Texas, I eagerly headed to the park to exercise on such a beautiful, warm, and breezy afternoon. Struck by just how much green was around me, I couldn’t help but take multiple pictures of the plants that stood along the path. Tall trees with rich, full leaves, bushels of grass that seemed to overtake the field; green extending endlessly towards the back land housing bunnies, deer, and coyotes. I hadn’t seen colors like these in a natural environment since my trip to Dallas in October, when Texas was still within the bounds of its never-ending summer. Outlining the trail were little white flowers, which I now know to be weeds of sorts; white clover and dandelion. Regardless, I reveled in the lush life that drew a beautiful scene right in front of me. After showing my parents the photos and holding onto that feeling of awe, I returned to the park two days later to enjoy another long walk around the trail. Much to my surprise, another type of flower, this time bright yellow, had blossomed all along the pathway that just two days before held only wispy, white plants covering the ground! Quite literally, flowers had bloomed overnight! In this instance, I took this as a sign to tune my eyes more to the nature that surrounded me. The landscape was revealing things to me that I hadn’t given it the chance to previously.
Coming to this park had often been a way for me to escape from the world and think to myself. Beginning in tenth grade, I have come to this park when I am going through my lowest of lows and sometimes highest of highs. When I have struggled with the stresses of academics, extracurriculars, friendships, professional plans, identity, etc., this park has been my haven. Secluded and familiar, this park has provided me with a place to be free; physically and mentally. Through this occurrence and several small ones on trips to this park before, I have begun to realize that I haven’t truly been allowing myself to be present in the environment I’ve been running in. Although I have been placing myself in nature while in search of nourishment, I have been simultaneously living in my head where the emptiness lies. After noticing that the life around me was doing more than just providing inspiration, but further providing insight- healing insight, I removed the cover from my eyes and fixed my gaze on the earth. This time, as I walked, I watched the sky. I saw how the clouds moved. I saw shapes in the trails that the jets left behind. I visited with the butterflies that flew beside me and stayed with them as I rounded each curve. I paid close attention to the way that the snake slithered across the pavement before me. I listened to the birds that chirped loudly in the trees. I saw the shadows that fell as the day shifted by the minute. This trip to the park made more of a mark on my heart.
After returning home and reflecting upon the beauty that had been laid before me, which now seeped into me, I felt inclined to write a mini story that expressed my appreciation for the wonder of the world and how it’s spirit, (which some may view as the Holy Spirit and others view as a general spirit of life), can bring fullness, healing, growth, and meaning. I really don’t know why my writing took it’s shape in this type of a framework, but I think that this dream like story oddly encapsulates the shift in my own perspective about tuning into my environment and being overtaken by it, then allowing it to become me in a greater sense.
Her eyes skipped along the trees as one hill gave way to another, and another in the distance. Along the lush shades of green, the bright blue hues of the sky tuned her ears to a melodious song of the open air. She slowly sank into the proper velvet of the musty train corridor she had traveled in for hours that turned into days. As the sun glistened upon her, she suddenly felt the seat beneath her melt into the earth. Her eyelids shut and the world appeared.
She was dancing among the nature that the seasons raised and nurtured. The flowers became her friends and their laughter flowed into the rivers, which carried their joy long and far. Lightly skipping from one stone to the next, she was picked up by the winds that carried her to the clouds. She sat, looking down upon the beautiful color that painted the fields of gold. Beside her, birds glided with their companions; admiring one another’s patterns which they drew with the sun. In the streams, fish jumped higher and higher; soaking up every ounce of spring air that seemed to exist eternally. The salty fragrance of the sea lingered among the animals who played upon the river’s sandy banks.
In a moment, she was called to the valley where leaves swirled in contagion. Mimicking the strokes of sediments that painted their age along the sturdy, rock walls. Set down upon the creek bed, her toes dug into the rich soil that wrapped around her fragile ankles and anchored her into the mountains. She was loved and she shined. She was strong and she was gentle. She picked up a petal and set it free in the wind.
As she gazed upward, the stars began to smile upon the earth, as the horizon gave way to the ground. The clear night seemed to expand her reach further and further, until those same stars weren’t so far away. When the light faded, she felt a heavy tug; the first time she was aware of her body since she had fallen into love with the world. She awoke to find the familiar sound of the train screeching to a halt. Slowly, she reached for her bag, which she slung across her shoulder with an uncertain carriage. She hoped her dreams would follow her here; charting the way ahead for a life that wasn’t only set in ink on sheets of thin paper. This was the place she had envisioned when everything else felt foggy. She smiled with a tear brimming the edge of her long, light lashes. No longer was she subject to the tousle of the wind. She was one with the air. She was home.
Having the ability to be immersed in nature is something I definitely took for granted until I moved to New York and really felt how much I missed it’s presence. My first real winter made it pretty apparent that nature is something that makes me a better me. It grounds me in the things that are good and pure. It reminds me that I need to release the idea that I am able to control my life. It exhibits the amazing things that can come when we just live as we were made. It quite literally gives me a light that ignites my mind and heart. Being in a setting that lacked this layer allowed me to see these deeper effects, for which I am indescribably grateful. On the flip side, removing nature revealed another type of beauty and lessons in the manmade world of buildings and bustle that I had never understood. I have learned to find joys and art in things that I previously thought of as bleak or empty. In a figurative sense, I now know that cool tones indeed also harbor warmth. I have come to believe that each of these two types of surroundings exist so that the other can retain it’s uniqueness and wholeness. I feel more capable of balancing my environments so that I can be nourished how I need to be when I need to be. I am learning more about myself through the things around me.
In this time where we are all grappling with uncertainty about everything that structures our lives, I encourage you to lean into the environment around you that is steadfast in it’s beauty and wisdom, and ever changing in its lessons and songs. In my case, I have felt an increased sense of faith and hope in the future and a better understanding of my own desires and needs. If anything, nature is sure to bring a shine to your heart when the world is telling us that the light is far off. Live big and love bigger today. :)
<3 Natalie
