The Benefits Of Remembering The People Who Made an Impact on My Life, Big & Small
About six months or so ago, around the time that I moved to New York, I was having a lot of instances where things I saw or words that were said around me reminded me of people from my past. I don’t know if it was because I was in a new environment which led me to subconsciously try to make anything and everything feel more familiar in an effort to comfort myself, or just because I was beginning to become more appreciative of all of the good things the years before had brought now that I wasn’t living in them. Maybe it just took leaving to truly see the things and people that would stay within me.
Looking back, (particularly at my years in college), there were so so many people that came in and out of my life as each year went by. My friend groups shifted, I connected with people from a variety of backgrounds and grades, and the things I was involved in, as well as prioritized, changed. Although not all of the people I was surrounded by were necessarily people I would have considered quality friends, they were all people that made an impact on my heart; for better or worse. Not to say that my heart was particularly hurt by certain people in any certain instances out of malice or conflict, but that sometimes life has a way of making situations unfair, caused by people and things you can’t control. And even those little times where I ended up hurt helped me grow for the better. But! But, for the large portion of people I came to develop friendships with in college, and even just had casual relationships with in passing, I am eternally grateful for and blown away by in light of the endless uniquely amazing and beautiful qualities that this array of human hearts exhibited. So many of the people I encountered embraced life in ways I could have never imagined. They encouraged everyone around them to live with more vibrancy, passion, confidence, kindness, and drive.
For some reason lately, my perspective on the struggles I had during some of these years is easing toward an overall appreciation and attitude of cherish. My college years held some of the most amazing, exciting, fun, and rewarding times of my life. And I actually have started to see that there were so many unreal blessings and positive experiences I took from those four years. I think that this shift is largely due to my recent ability to simply recognize the truly amazing people that filled those days; completely aside from the personal struggles which overlapped their crossings with me.
Over these past sixish months that I’ve been constantly reminded of the joys of my past, I have tried to make it a point to once again connect with the people who made these impacts on me or even just outwardly show my appreciation for them in any way possible. I have pushed myself to text people when I see or hear things that remind me of them or of the times we spent together. I also make an effort to explain to the people I am with what the significance of this reference or memory is and who I shared it with. By doing this, I allow myself to value the people who have brought light into my life and sometimes even bring that light back into existence when I connect with them via text or social media. What I’ve found is that people like being remembered. And they love being appreciated. There is no greater act of love than showing someone how much they mean to you. I have only felt more love and light in my life by exhibiting to people from my past how they left an impression on me and my heart in the simplest of ways. No one is too far removed or too unworthy of your time and compassion to reach out to.
Another thing that has allowed me to find new admiration for the past has been a dissolve in the anger I held toward myself for the pressure I placed on my own shoulders- by not living as the person I wanted to be, but rather as the person I thought I was expected to be. It has been such an eye-opening experience to realize that I inhibited myself and caused myself so much pain, then, more importantly, to accept it and forgive myself for it. Further, I am even trying to continually be happy that I did make those mistakes then utilize what I learned to create strength out of that previous weakness. I think this last action has allowed me to just let go. Let go of it all and look forward knowing that I am capable, worthy, and impactful. I am giving myself the grace to be a better me; which has been an amazing opportunity for growth and weirdly enough so much joy.
So I would encourage everyone to not be afraid to reach out to people who made an impact on them. Even if it was only once. In my search for connection, this has proved to be one of the most valuable practices in producing light for me. I think it’s also worth acknowledging that if you are reminded of someone or start to think about them in the most random, unimportant instances, it means that possibly as much as you hadn’t felt anything out of the ordinary just by interacting with them in the past, they indeed did make an impact on your life just by being present in that moment where your paths crossed. The value of these instances and relationships are so much larger than we often think.
I like to imagine that each person I meet is a building block in the staircase of my life that only goes up. It’s not a puzzle, it’s a skyscraper. The base can always grow wider, taking up more and more space and broadening it’s impact outwardly. The structure can be made up of pieces of all shapes and sizes, relationships that may be the thinnest of stones or the biggest of slabs. Sometimes, you’ll be granted with a rock that propels the roof higher than you’ve even seen before; opening your eyes to much more than you knew about yourself and others. And even if that rock of a relationship withers away, the imprint of that stone still remains as big as it was when it grew to it’s full size. You still take the lessons and memories and traits from that relationship and use it to build your life.
There is no perfect or easy way to keep up with all of the people you have called friends in the past, especially when you’re at this stage of life just trying to adjust to a work-life-self-others balance. The best we can do is take the opportunities given to us to show our care and consideration for others. In the process, you might find that you are caring for yourself in a way by valuing the light others brought to you. The warmness of good people never fades. Take hold of it and do your best to share it with others!
<3 Natalie
