Learning To Use Change For My Betterment And Finding Purpose In The In Between
At the office last Thursday and Friday, we got a whole new built-in shelving system for all of our production workspace, inventory, and supplies. As small of a change as this may seem to some, this overhaul had been long anticipated and planned for by my team; since it was to truly transform the processes and methodologies we undertake every day. On Wednesday, before the builders came in to start construction on our section of the office, my boss asked another one of my coworkers, “Are you excited?”. In response, she gave an automatic answer, (as many of us often do when asked a question that doesn’t necessarily require much thought or honesty by nature), “I mean, yeah!” Shortly after processing the question she added nervously, “Well actually, I really don’t like change haha”, as we all laughed to ourselves.
Personally, this instance really highlighted the importance of viewing change under a lens of benefit, sacrifice, opportunity, and strength. When you “actually” think about it, change is something that is almost always characterized as difficult, bad, or taxing. Although it is an inevitable part of our growth as individuals- which may come in many forms, facets, and phases, our world tends to paint shifts of any sort as degrading, or if not so, burdensome to some extent. If you are undergoing change, people often assume that you are struggling or burnt out, uncomfortable or unhappy. After thinking about my coworker’s genuine response to such a prompted question about how she felt in accordance with a change as simple as our work environment, I began to think about how change could instead be viewed as a tool to make us stronger; not break us down. Like lifting weights or building our endurance, putting ourselves in situations that: take us out of our comfort zones, force us to develop new skills or traits, allow us to come into contact with different people or things, push us to take on new roles, or alter our perspectives or beliefs, are all ways to strengthen our abilities to: relate to more people, sympathize and even empathize with others, and have an armory of experience under our belts to fall back on when we are confronted by conflict or uncertainty in the future. Our reach grows longer and our muscles become more powerful.
With this paradigm shift, I began to think about what I view the role of change to be in the grand scheme of things. If I were able to harness the capabilities of change to make me stronger, what would be impacted in my life? What areas could I maximize and what things would I choose to remove or add because of this realization that the possibility of change isn’t a barrier, it’s a passageway? I also reflected on the necessary nature of change and why it ought to be viewed almost always in a positive light rather than that of a negative one for a multitude of reasons.
I will tell you that after much thought and consideration, I came to 3 conclusions. The first, an idea about the social construction of change, the second, a realization about my own view of change, and the third, a take on how to view the worth of change and all that comes with it.
If change is an opportunity, I should seek out things that bring variances, a larger scope, the unknown, shifts in my environment, community, or involvement, etc. so that I can strengthen myself by gaining experience in the processes of growth. Like we are told to seek out opportunities in our careers, relationships, interests, etc., we should be told to seek out changes. For changes can open countless doors which otherwise, we wouldn’t dare knock upon.
Oddly enough, I have found that I am happiest when I am undergoing change. When I’m putting myself through a period of learning and understanding something new, unfamiliar, uncomfortable, or different, I try to find immense and unique value in everything- no matter how small or large, because I feel that it plays a part in my greater plan. I also feel that I can add something unique to these situations that involve change because I am the only person to experience them in the way I am experiencing them. And there’s such a freedom in allowing yourself to come out the other side in a way that no one can anticipate or put limits on.
*Notice I say happy. In these circumstances, I can be happy in the thick of change. I can experience contentment in knowing I am being strengthened or bettered by a change, when it really does suck. I’ve spent so much time being sad, angry, disappointed, etc. in times of change because yes, many of these experiences are not fun. And it’s near impossible to understand how the current is playing into the future until you are looking back. I do not really experience joy from these processes, because change IS really hard; but, knowing that I’m moving forward and exercising my brain and heart in different ways makes me feel so content. And makes me feel like I’m seeking the more that God is allowing me to be exposed to.
**After analyzing this, I’ve gathered that I become unhappy when I begin to feel too comfortable in a position or place. For me, it feels stagnant or confining. This has proven itself time and time again through my different phases and decisions. Further, I feel that my struggles and discomfort broaden my understanding of other’s experiences and feelings. They humble me, teach me, steer me, and mature me. Change is something that drives me and something that I like. Sometimes I’d go as far to say that I seek out even discomfort because it makes me expand. (This is something I’m still experimenting with and trying to carefully dissect in order to put into practice in the most beneficial ways; not ways that hurt me or burn me out) For me, change is something of immeasurable value.
There are certain events or results that often allow us to see that the change we underwent was for the better- not the worse. Until we reach those occurrences or identify positive rewards, it’s usually hard for us to see the benefit of such sacrifice or pain in the process. There has to be something that carries us through until we do see the results brought from tolls of change- the idea that change plays into our personal purposes; In my case, the idea that changes afford me the opportunity to see on a broader horizon and connect with a wider array of people. But obviously, this idea is different for every individual.
It’s an interesting idea to think that times when we are undergoing the most change can indeed be the most happy and beneficial ones, while at the same time being the most challenging and uncomfortable ones. Admittedly, the coexistence of change and positivity seems kind of daunting. Especially when I look at the situation I am currently in. I have lived in New York for just about 6 months now, and I can confidently say that change, of all sorts, has been the most integral part of my experience here. Transitioning into a role I was completely unfamiliar with, moving and living on my own then becoming a roommate of two others in a new neighborhood, finding a completely new routine, throwing myself into new hobbies like writing and poetry, seeking out new friendships and fostering old, taking on an entirely new stance on how I’d like to live as the raw me and nothing but, removing old perspectives and instilling new, and living away from most people I know and love, have all been giant changes in who I am, the people and things I surround myself with, and how I live my life. And to say that I’ve been joyful through it all would be very false. But to say that I’ve aimed to remain content in the purpose of it all throughout this process is much more accurate- which I consider to be much more important and lasting.
I have had countless ups and downs, but overall, I am the happiest I’ve been in so many years. I am so so happy here figuring it out, being me, allowing myself to fall fully into newness, and learning from every single thing. I’m happy here doing things that confront me with failure, differences, and a lack of knowledge. I’m happy here doing things that uncover the gifts and beauty in me. I’m just happy to relinquish any boundaries, do what I want to do and know I can do, be quiet some days and loud others, and feel like I can glow from the inside out by sitting in the sun- becoming a reflection of it’s changing colors as days turn to nights then back into days, and seasons come and go each week. Hopefully, by viewing change as a tool to further our abilities to fulfill our purposes, we can be more open to the opportunities that present themselves in our lives. And we can feel like we are moving towards the selves that we were created to be, knowing that the process can be a rewarding one.
